Coping with loss
Dealing with the loss of a loved one can be incredibly tough. When you start thinking about where to start and what to do next, it can feel overwhelming. Please remember you're not alone in this journey. We’re here to offer guidance and helpful information.
This blog article explains what you'll need to address immediately and what can wait. We’ll cover the essential tasks to help you navigate the process, deal with the loss of a close relative or friend, and provide clarity and direction for the road ahead.
If you're feeling unsure about where to start after a loss, please don't hesitate to reach out to us.
Where do I begin?
In the first few days after the loss of a loved one, it can be challenging to know what to do. Doing anything at all feels daunting. You may worry about getting it wrong. Many of our clients hate the time constraints and feel pressure to get everything ‘sorted’ quickly.
While you wait for the official paperwork from the doctor or the hospital to register the death, there are a few things you can begin with.
Call your family and friends. Our Coping with Bereavement booklet has helpful suggestions for how to make and manage these calls.
Look for a Will and any paperwork that may contain funeral wishes or requests for organ/body donation.
If you think the person who died made a Will, but you can’t find it in their personal papers, you could call all the local legal firms. The simplest option, however, is to pay a small fee for a Certainty Will Search. This will save you all the time and hassle of making calls. If you’re the executor of the estate, the search will also show you took appropriate steps to fulfil your legal responsibilities.
How do I register the death?
You'll be contacted by the hospital or the deceased's doctor to collect the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death (MCCD). You'll then arrange an appointment with the Registrar for the official registration. The death should be registered in the county where it occurred, not where the person lived.
You'll need to bring certain documents to the appointment:
the deceased person's passport
proof of address (such as a utility bill) for the deceased person
NHS medical card for the deceased person
all marriage or civil partnership certificates
the deceased person's birth certificate
change of name documents
your own passport
your own driving licence
proof of your own address (such as a utility bill)
The Registrar will provide you with an A4 wallet containing information about useful services and various documents, including Death Certificates and the "Green Form" for cremation or burial. If you're unsure about the Registration of Notification of Death – DWP (BD8) or whether you're eligible for the "Tell Us Once" service, the Registrar can provide guidance.
How do I make the funeral arrangements?
Handing over the "Green Form" to the Funeral Director means you're entering into a contract for payment.
If you've discovered a Will or a Letter of Wishes, it can provide guidance about the deceased's funeral preferences. While these wishes are not legally binding, they can guide you in making decisions. Before moving on to the next steps, make sure you're the right person to continue the process. The person named in the deceased’s Will as executor has a legal duty to deal with the estate and their funeral. It’s best not to assume it’s you until you’ve checked.
How do I deal with the paperwork?
If you were appointed as an attorney under a Lasting Power of Attorney, you might have a clear understanding of their financial circumstances. The deceased may have left a folder or file of useful information for you. If not, don't worry; it will require some investigation, but you'll get there.
Carisma Wills clients receive a copy of our Family Portfolio to complete. It could be stored as a digital record or a paper copy. The image with a lilac background shows the front cover, so you know what to look for.
Take time to search for details in their paperwork, such as the names of banks and other financial institutions they dealt with. Even a debit or credit card, a bank statement, or a utility bill can be helpful. Every bit of information is valuable.
To simplify form-filling and letter-writing, consider making a list of essential reference numbers and information, such as the deceased's birth and marriage details, National Insurance number, and tax reference numbers.
Use the Mail Suppression Service to reduce unwanted mail.
How do I let everyone know?
Informing others about the loss is crucial, and there are more people to notify than you might realise. Create two lists to help you keep track of your progress
Personal - family, friends and colleagues
Professionals - financial organisations, insurance companies, legal and financial professionals, utility services, and healthcare providers.
What should I do with their Lasting Powers of Attorney?
A Lasting Power of Attorney (LPA) will end automatically when the person who made it (called the donor) dies. Their affairs will be looked after by their executors or personal representatives from that point, not the attorney.
If the donor or another attorney dies, you must tell the Office of the Public Guardian and send them the original LPA and all certified copies.
If the donor or attorney died outside of the United Kingdom, you must also send a copy of the death certificate.
The Office of the Public Guardian (OPG) will cancel the LPA if the donor dies. A cancelled LPA will be destroyed. If you want OPG to send it back instead, include a note asking for its return along with your address.
If an attorney dies and the attorneys were appointed to make decisions on their own (called acting ‘jointly and severally’), OPG will update the LPA instead. You must include a return address when you send the LPA.
Do I need probate?
Keep in mind that a Grant of Probate is not always necessary, and it will depend on various factors, including the value of individual assets within the estate. We can help you assess your specific situation.
You’ll find all the information you need on our Estate Administration web page.
Once you've obtained Probate (if required), you can proceed with the sale or transfer of sole assets. Before distributing the estate to beneficiaries, ensure that debts are settled and Inheritance Tax is paid. Maintain clear records of financial transactions to create a transparent paper trail of the estate administration.
You can follow the instructions in the Will to distribute assets to Legatees/Beneficiaries or follow the Rules of Intestacy to distribute the estate to relatives, depending on the circumstances. Remember that this information serves as a general guide, and not all of it may apply to your situation. If you have any questions or need assistance, feel free to call us, and we'll provide guidance tailored to your needs.
Where can I get support?
We all need different support at different times.
Even though your relative or friend has died, you may find it comforting to talk to a physical item that reminds you of them. Some people like to go to a special place to do this. This could be a cemetery or a place that has special memories, your home or another place where you shared your life.
If you find it difficult to talk to them, you may prefer to write a letter or use a journal or blog.
Some people find it helpful to talk to family and friends about how they are feeling. You may feel you need to talk regularly or want to wait a while until you feel ready.
Sometimes it may feel difficult and painful. You are bound to cry and feel upset. As time passes, you may find you can share happy stories and smile at fond memories.
The way you feel is normal. Sharing your feelings with family and friends can help.
You may find it easier to talk to someone who is not part of your family or friendship group. There is plenty of support available to you after someone dies. Ask for help or talk to your GP if you feel you are not coping. They may refer you to a counsellor or therapist who specialises in bereavement support.
When it feels difficult to share your thoughts and feelings with family and friends because they are grieving too, speak to a professional. Your GP, local hospice or hospital may run a bereavement support group.
If you have a religion or faith, you may find this comforting following the death of your relative or friend. Faith leaders are often available to listen, offer support, and introduce you to other people who understand how you feel.
How we can help
Our trained staff have many years of experience helping families in their time of need. We’re here to give guidance if you can’t find an answer to your question about estate administration, Wills and Lasting Powers of Attorney.
Click the button to reach out.
The information in this article and on our website is for guidance and does not constitute legal or financial advice. We strongly recommend that you discuss your estate plans with a professional. We make every effort to update our website when the law or interpretation of the law changes, but we do not give any guarantee in this respect.
